Siblings of Autism

One thing about this autism thing that truly breaks my heart is Ikey.  I can’t help but wonder if he’ll live his life thinking he’s getting the short end of the stick.  I mean, Silas gets to hang out with all these cool people 4 days a week.  He’ll soon also be hanging out with a speech therapist and an OT.  Silas will, for a long time, be getting extra special treatment.

Ikey also gets the brunt of Silas’ blow ups.  When we went through that really hard period recently I remember holding Ikey close, defending him from his angry brother, not knowing what to….all three of us in tears.

I don’t know how to combat this.  I don’t know how to make Isaac feel like he’s getting all the attention that Silas gets.  I don’t know how to make him feel just as special.  I don’t know which things to do and which things not to do.  I don’t know how to avoid future issues for him.  This is such a tough one.  This is SO part of the reason why I’m never having another kid.  I hardly feel like there’s enough of me to go around already!!

I never had a sibling with any issues…okay well…lets just say we all have an equal amount of issues.  I love you sisters and Andy!!  But I did grow up with a father who’s physically handicapped and boy oh boy was that hard.  Hard because I was so young and one day he was healthy and the next day he was paralyzed.  That caused a lot of stress in my early years of life which lead to bigger issues like stress induced childhood OCD amongst other things.  Not my dad’s fault at all.  It didn’t help that he was recuperated and then was hit by a car and put right back to the beginning again.  Was just the nature of what happened.  I think it’s very different than having a sibling with something though.  I did learn a lot of things, I learned a lot of patience and of course LOADS of acceptance for people with physical issues.  I’m sure I learned some crazy coping mechanisms too.  Who knows.

So what I think I’m going to do is start searching for people who are grown up siblings of someone with exceptionalities.  Doesn’t have to be autism but of course I’d love it to be mostly autism or aspburgers.  I think I’ll come up with a list of questions and compile notes and see exactly what their parents did right and what their parents did wrong.  Then I’ll turn it into a wonderful blog so you all have the information too.

If you know someone or are someone who’s a sibling of someone who has developmental delays or even physical handicaps could you please comment on here that you’d like to participate or please email me at plucky_mama@yahoo.ca and I’ll get a list of questions for you to answer.  I’ll keep everything completely confidential and will ask for permission before using a quote of yours and what not.  If you know a sibling then please give them my email.

Thanks for the help!!

PS, silas is upstairs with Elisha right now.  She walked in the door and he was so delighted, his WHOLE body went stiff (posturing) and he ran over to her.  He then ran right up the stairs, ready to get to work!!  I seriously think this kind of therapy (Able ABA) as opposed to the tradtional Lovaas ABA is so much better for our family.  I think it would be better for a LOT of kids with autism.

OKAY comment…send me emails.  Lets learn how to be the best we can be for the siblings of autism!!!

PS I also need your comments over at Discovering Happy.  thnx

That Smarts

I finally felt like the grass was grown in enough today to let the boys play in the back yard.  This spring it looked pathetic and it wasn’t use-able at all.  I seeded it and covered it in some of my very own fresh compost and it looks lush and lovely again.  OOOOO I love using my own compost for things.  How exciting.

ANYWAY, the kids were running around naked.  They played with the hose and the sand table and blah blah blah.  THEN my dear dear Silas tripped over the hose and dove head first into the edge of the step…which just happens to be a cement paver.

As I was picking him up I was certain I was going to see blood and that we’d end up at the ER today getting stitches.  I saw his face and there was the beginnings of a goose egg that was growing before my eyes.  OOOOOOOOOO I hate that.  it just kept growing.

So I cried, called Brent, talked to my darling friend on MSN who also happens to be a nurse and concluded that he will be just fine.  I filled him up with Tylenol and Motrin, tried to get him to put a cold magic bag on his head..to which he replied “I don’t think so” and now I’m having a beer.  He’s watching cartoon and eating an apple.  So I’m sure he’s fine.  I’m less fine I believe.

Silas just said to me “mommy is beautiful white, Silas is black and Ikey is butter.  Daddy is wango”.

Yup…he’s just fine…we know what especially from the “beautiful” part.

Gosh I need this beer.

At least I know this medication I’m on allows me to cry right?

Anyway, I always have you guys in mind so of course I photographed the bump on his head…just to break your hearts a little more.

Poor baby

Ugh, it’s been an hour since it happened and I’m STILL sick to my tummy.  Us mommies love TOO MUCH!!

Anyway, out of sheer narcissism, I’ve created an Informal Matriarch fan page on Facebook.  K it’s not really.  It’s so I can update you on new blogs, post funny videos and photos…etc.  I hope you join, it would make me glad.  Click here to get to it.  Don’t worry, I wont Facestalk* you if you join   I prrromise. MUUUHAHAHA.  No it wont allow me to see your profile or anything.  It’s just a fan site.  K join now

Canada Day was uneventful.  Alesha came and took Silas swimming at the pool (dangit I love her) and then we went to this celebration and um…well lets just say it ended with me angrily walking away from Silas with my hand over my eye and a swelling lip.

I’m all about embracing autism but SERIOUSLY, the hitting can just get to be too much!!

Anyway…in celebration of Canada Day

Happy Canada Day!!

It’s my day off…leave me alone!

DONT Drink and Dial!!

Drunk caller

me

Is geenette there? (I have no idea what name he really said…it sounded like that though)

Who?

geenette

sorry you have the wrong number

Is Geenette there?

no one lives here by that name

What’s your dad’s name?

I’m actually the mother in this household.

What’s your husband’s name?

Brent

Brent….Brent…

Can I help you with something?

Can you help me…

I’m pretty sure you have the wrong #, there’s seriously no one by that name here.

Alright, I love you

*click*

How crazy is that??  I laughed so hard after.  What a nut job.  I almost want to call that number back today and make sure his hangover isn’t too bad.

Anyway, last night I was reading Isaac this book and he was being SO cute that I had to film it.  He kept saying NO when he should have been saying yes…anyway…you’ll see…

Oh ya…we played air guitar after…

So my body is revolting against my couch potato-ness and it’s HURTING ME!!!  I did go for a very long walk with the boys yesterday.  We have these BEAUTIFUL nature trails really close by and walking in the forest in the lower mainland is just unreal.  The forests are SO lush.  We ate wild raspberries (which weren’t that great actually…but Silas loved them) and just slowly walked along.

Ikey took his time because he had to stop every two seconds and talk to a bug, or pick up a rock or a stick.  Silas had to keep stopping so we’d catch up.  We stopped for lunch by a creek and by the time the walk was over the kids were SO done.  Two hour walk!!

Anyway, the back is sore today…the sciatic is sore too…DANGIT.  Soooo I tried stretching things out and then it hurt LOTS.   I don’t hurt when I am more active so I think for this week I’ll do a yoga vid every day and limber myself up a bit then I’ll start doing tai bo, yoga, and pilates vids alternating during nap time.  Lets see if I actually stick with that.  But right now I am going to do yoga…cuz it hurts it hurts it hurts!!!

Vlog Vlog Vlog

Yes folks, it’s time for another episode of my vlogging.  You’re excited right??  I am.  Mostly because this time I kicked butt!!  I figured out how the new imovie worked and I totally kicked it’s butt and added all these cool effects, you’re so going to be amazed by my amazingness.

What’s wicked awesome about the new imovie is you can upload directly to your youtube account from it, saving time and frustrations.  I’m full of glee.  I think I was more myself on this vlog.

Now we wait for it to upload….*whistles*

Yay it’s done!!  It hasn’t processed but I’m putting it up anyway!! Hopefully it’ll go quickly!

you’re welcome

The Best Tub Cleaner

is already siting in your tub…I kid you not.  I discovered it the other day!

Lets start from the beginning shall we?

Those of you that have been to my house have most likely seen the atrociousness that is my bathtub.  It kind of made me a tad faint the day we first looked at this house and I looked in the tub.  The bottom of it has no enamel anymore and it was stained a shade very near to black.

I’ve soaked that tub in a bunch of different things, trying to get the ugliness to not be so ugly.  I don’t care much about it seeing it WILL be replaced when my husband decides to get around to it.  I usually take a SOS pad to it and that at least makes it easy to clean…but the bottom is always black.

SO here’s where it gets exciting.  The other day Ikey and I had finished in the shower and we left it a mess…I think I took him out in a hurry cuz he was mad or I was just lazy…whatever the case, a lone shampoo bottle lay on the bottom of the tub, leaking slowly.

The next day when I went to shower I noticed that the bottom of my tub had a clean spot…like a non black spot…in the shape of the shampoo ooze.  That night I tried another spot and let it sit and washed it away…another spotless area that used to be almost black…k not really…greyish brownish….GROSS….but now clean.

So that night I got to it.  I put a nice layer of shampoo all over my tub and left it there for almost 24 hours and when I turned on the shower to rinse it off, I couldn’t believe my eyes.  The bottom of my tub is clean….the sides are so shiny that I can almost see myself in it.  This is ONE CLEAN TUB!  It doesn’t look clean until you wash it all away.

I’ve taken everything to that tub!!!  Shampoo (specifically Rusk) seriously made it spotless, the next best thing was an sos pad which causes me to sweat and grunt and get sore elbows.  This took me 3 minutes from start to finish…well plus the 24 hour waiting period.

So, I’m wondering if cheap shampoos would work.  Those of you that subject your hair to such awful things such as drug store shampoo should try it in your tub and see if it gets it clean.  I kinda doubt it works as well because drug store shampoo is way watered down…then thickened with salt…neither of those things are helpful in this matter.  But their PH is higher and they also have stronger soap agents in them (because they’re cheap and they don’t actually care about your hair BTW…the plastic in the conditioner is what makes you think your hair feels healthy and soft…yes it’s plastic).

K I totally went off on a tangent there….sorry.

Anyway, please try it and tell me how it worked and what kind of shampoo you used.  I don’t mind using my Rusk because I got a gallon of it for 15 bucks during a mega sale at the warehouse I shop at *sigh* I love having my hairdressing license ha ha.

I’m pretty sure this works so well because the shampoo is a gel that stays put for a very long time, it’s doesn’t have a lot of water in it so it’s more concentrated soap.

I swear this works, and it’s super super easy…there’s nothing better out there I assure you!!  Try it!!

In other news….I have cute kids!!

snuggle time in Ikey's crib. Silas asked to join.

K...do we NOT look alike?? holy cow.

I wondered how long he'd still sleep like this...I love it. I found Silas sleeping just like this last night so we still have lots of time ha ha.

ha ha ha

oooo those little feetsies.

Anyway, I must GO!!  AHHHH we’re leaving to go to my mom’s in like an hour and I haven’t started packing.  Dangit I suck!!

FINALLY!

Ahhhh what a busy day, just getting to blogging now…gosh am I too late??  I’m feeling that way.

Last night we had a family meeting put on by Silas’ Behavior Consultant and it went really well…aside from my chilren flipping out numerous times throughout.  AHH.  Anyway, we learned a lot about autism and how autism worked and I think we also all came to an understanding that it takes ALL of us to help Silas, not just therapists, not just Brent and I but everyone around him.

It truely does take a community to raise a child.  I’m SO proud of the community surrounding my son.

I got my special blood tests for arthritis today.  They took 4 massive vials of blood.  I almost think the lady was a vampire and she took an extra one for a snack.  But I can’t complain seeing as though I LIKE having my blood taken.  They always think I’m such a weirdo as I sit there and watch and say “ooooo pretty”.  They say usually people can’t even watch.  I really need to donate blood.  Bring it onnnn!  Maybe I’ll get a funny head rush then along with saying “ooooo pretty”

Tonight we had another meeting, we’re training for doing therapy for Silas.  Pretty much they’ve introduced us to all their tools that they use so we can implement them in our own lives.  I’d love to get trained further though, I feel like I should be an expert on this stuff myself.  Although I’m also feeling apathetic to it all because it’s so overwhelming, I do want to take some courses on ABA therapy…specifically the type they’re using for my son and NOT Lovaas.

I was brave today, I let the kinds finger paint…

I loved how the paint looked on Isaac's hand

he was pretty proud of it too

you can just SEE the creative juices flowing...ha ha

They went STRAIGHT in to the shower after that.

Okay I’m exhausted.  I’m going away now.  Night night all!!  I’m not even going to edit this…I can’t focus…ahh.

It Hurts It Hurts!!

Sweet sweet nap time.  Glorious.

So I’ve been in a bit of pain lately that I’ve been blaming on my sciatic nerve.  I started really thinking about it the other day and realized that the pain isn’t from that at all.  At least I don’t think so because it’s not hurting me in the usual sciatic way.  I’m kind of frightened because there’s this disease that runs in my family called Ankylosing Spondylitis which is a kind of arthritis.  It effects the spine as well as many other parts of the body.  It’s a big pain in the butt.  My dad has it and so does my sister.  Google it if you want to know more.  It’s pretty awful.  Like it effects the eyes, heart, lungs, ribs, kidneys…etc.  Also you end up with stomach problems from taking anti inflammatories.  It sucks.  I feel deeply awful for anyone who has it.

Tomorrow I see the doc as a follow up to my anti depressant stuff so I’ll get him to give me the blood test and we’ll see.  My last doctor sent me for blood tests and told me I don’t have anything, he also never called me when the urine test revealed I had a bladder infection I didn’t know about…which turned really ugly.  ANYWAY, my doctor I have now whom I love looked at the tests the other doc ran and NONE of them were for arthritis, he just sent me for some obscure test to shut me up…how weird is that??  He kept saying I was too young to have arthritis…but HELLOOOOO my dad and my sister both got theirs in their early early 20’s!!  Gosh I hate dumb doctors.

Anyway, I’m hoping it’s just sciatica (which hurts something awful too!) but it’s good to know NOW instead of all the hundreds of people out there with this disease that get improperly diagnosed.  I need to start exercising to make the pain go away.  At this point I can’t sit forward in a chair very easily, it hurts pretty bad.  I think I might even down a naproxen today.

But ya, I’ve always had joint issues, for years…exercise is the best thing.  I need to REALLY start getting strong and flexible…it’s the best thing for me.

ANNNYWAY.  Tonight is the family meeting and I’m BEYOND stoked!!  I’m just excited to have the whole family come together for Silas and get everyone on the same page.  I’m also very excited to pray afterward.  I don’t talk much about my faith on here because I just want to remain neutral in that area.  Prayer has really helped us in this area though, especially the despair surrounding the autism.  I’m just excited for a group of people coming together for this cause and drawing upon a higher power to guide us and support us through this new adventure.  Luckily our team is made up mostly of Christians so they’re very open to the whole idea.

Silas enjoyed another therapy session today.  We’re still getting used to this whole therapy thing.  Alesha is incredibly googley over my kids and they both really love her.  Ikey calls her Seesha.  So cute.  Anyway, there’s a lot of things to get used to.  Silas has a lot of things to work on and now he’s having strangers in his room trying to get him to do things he might not always want to do.  They try their best to make it fun though.  Ikey’s getting used to being down here with me even when he wants to be playing with “Seesha” and Silas.  I’m just getting used to having people in my house like this.  It’s kind of odd to me, but I like it.  I can’t complain!!  It’s just weeeeiiiirrrd.  But good.  Silas is going to learn so much.  I love how enthusiastic “Seesha” is about Silas too.  She cannot get over how smart he is….well neither can any of us.

Cuz seriously…it was only in November when he first started recognising his letters….and only in November where he learned their sounds.  Eight months later Silas read The Very Hungry Caterpiller to “Seesha” today and she told me he didn’t make one mistake.  And no, he’s hasn’t memorized that book, we’ve only read it a handful of times.  He read it to her last week and she had to help him with a few words but this week he’s got it.

I’m glad I got downstairs before Silas this morning because he might have seen this:

Umm…I was amazing at playing Yahtzee….I promise!!  It’s little things like this, though, that can make my morning that much better.  I love my husband.

Nuts and Bolts

I am SO excited, tomorrow our Behavioral Consultant comes to our house and gives our entire group of family and friends a talk on autism.  I love how she goes above and beyond and I love how she involves the entire family.  It’s so great.

We had a meeting on Saturday too, Kim, the trainer and soon-to-be one of Silas’ BI’s came to our house and began our training.  We all get trained to do therapy with Silas too.  It’s really cool.  Jennie and Leanne joined us here and then some other family members joined us on the interwebs because we broadcast it.  We’ll be broadcasting our family meeting tomorrow night so if I’ve forgotten to invite you and you wanna join in then let me know and i’ll give you details…as long as you’re not a STRANGER!

I’m so glad for this to all be underway!!  Now it’s time to find a speech therapist because we aint waiting another TWO YEARS to get one free from the government.  No sirree.  That’s redunckulous!!

Annnnnyway, I need to get cleaning and perhaps do some baking for tomorrow night.  A lot of people are joining us so I wanna feed them.  I love feeding people.  Seriously folks, when we actually have extra money to spend I so want to be the person who feeds people all the time, open doors.  Just not yet…unless you’re buying.

Oh yes, I wrote down this little conversation the other night cuz I thought it was funny.  I want to get some nuts and bolts for the kids to thread (with supervision) for their fine motor skills.  Jill told me to do it…and I might just make her give me more ideas…or make her blog about these sorts of ideas.

Anyway, first things first…I asked Brent…who’s mind was elsewhere I guess.

Me Brent

do you have big nuts and bolts?

(in a sleezy deep man voice) ohhhhh yeah…what can I do for you? How can I suit your fancy??

no like…I mean real nuts and bolts

oh…no not really…

Why do men’s minds always go THERE??  Ha ha ha…actually mine always does too…that’s what you get for having the siblings that I have. 

Anyway, now I’m waiting to see if anyone on freecycle has some for me…do you have some for me???  I’ll take cute photos of my kids playing with them!!!

Blurps

Sitting here in a foggy haze….sooo sleeeeeepy.

I miss my bed.

Silas was a grouchy pants today and I wanted to stick him in the basement.  But I don’t have one.

The table still has dishes from breakfast and lunch on it.  I should clean that up.

I really want a doggy…but I’m scared.

I’m having a hard time finding something fun and inspiring to say today because I’m a grouchy bum.

Father’s day was fun we made hubby a mug .

I buffed my nails yesterday and they’re shiny!  I never take care of my nails.

I have so many awesome ideas for when I move my blog.  It’s in the pre-design phases…get ready for awesomeness!!

That’s it….tell me YOUR blurps.