Merry Christmas

I’m off for the Holidays, hope you all have a great Christmas!!

It’s SO the Rain

We’ve been having these wonderful snowy days here lately, SO unusual.  IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!!  Of course I take my kids outside…of course I have spunk.

It’s the blasted rain that ruins my life.  Can I move yet?

Singin Jazz

doot skeetle deet deet doot.

Betcha didn’t know that I have a love for singing jazz.  I love it because you can be free and creative when singing a jazz song.  I love it because it’s a challenge to sing and I need to use all that training I have.  Jazz makes me wiggle, it makes me feet tap, it gives me shivers.  I love it.

I first started singing Jazz in highschool.  I was so used to classical training that it was REALLY hard to let go and sing the song different than what the sheet music said.  I joined a jazz choir in grade 12 and that’s when I really began to fall in love with singing Jazz.

So, when searching the interwebs I happened upon this cool site where you have your own page but you can also go live on it and sing for other people and chat all on your webcams.  That’s where I met Steveeo.

Steveeo is this REALLY great Jazz guitarist.  He’s also a very great singer.  He heard me singing one day and for some reason saw some potential.  So we’ve been doing some recording together.  He aparently taken me in as his lil “project” and wow, it’s fun.  And it feels good to have someone who believes in me that much.  It’s pretty neato.

Anyway, it’s a tad complicated to record with a person when one lives in the Chicago area and the other lives in the Vancouver area.  It’s a lot of sending things back and forth but it’s worth it.  So much fun.

Anyway, yesterday I decided to sing a little Christmas song to a guitar track he sent me.  We’ll be working on a Christmas CD for next Christmas and right now we’re figuring out which non Christmas songs to do as well and I’m practicing a lot to get my voice back into shape.

I thought I’d share the song with you.  Don’t make fun of my facial expressions.  They weird me out too lol.  I just get so into it ha ha.

Enjoy and Merry Christmas.

Life Skills

My sister lead me to this really interesting quote that I really do like.

From Tumbling Over The Edge: A Rant For Children’s Play by Bev Bos and Jenny Chapman.

“Intellectual development and the skills of reading, writing and arithmetic are areas,which cause parents and politicians to fret and fume over the apparent regression of each generation.  Many harangue the school systems and are obsessed with test scores and early achievement profiles.  These obsessions are meaningless and counter-productive.  It is the ability to relate to others, to work as a group, to problem solve and our intellectual strengths that support humanity in it’s ongoing romp on this earth.”

Doesn’t that make sense??  Goodness me does it ever.  Any typical person can learn how to spell and read and do math.  All of the toys we buy are kids are all based on these kinds of skills, things they’re going to learn in school anyway.  Things like social skills, empathy, relating to other people, etc. aren’t in the spotlight right now where they should be.

As a mother I fall short in nuturing those things in Silas.  I have a hard time getting him into social situations because of my own fears.  I have social anxiety and play groups scare the crap out of me.  When I’m scared then I sweat and get all bloated and so then I definitely don’t want to go out because I’m scared of sweating and bloating.  How dumb.

Silas has no issues with the common intellectual stuff as you’ll see in the video below.  He’s incredibly clever and academically, I know he’s going to TOTALLY rock.  But his social skills…oh his social skills.  They’re so poor already.  In his Sunday School class it’s like he shuts down, he gets really sleepy and he just stares into space.  He doesn’t relate to the kids around him hardly at all.

I’d do anything for my kid but it’s a lot harder to do certain things.  Especially when I’m so stinking scared.  I’d probably be faster to die for him that I’ve been at getting him properly socialized.

Anyway, read that quote over a few times.  It makes sense!!  Lets stop pressuring our children to do the things they’re going to do anyway and lets begin to ingrain within them some skills that will take them further in life than knowing the ABC’s when they’re two.  It’s still impressive but, they’re going to learn it anyway in school.  Perhaps our job as parents should be teaching them how to be a human, not a smarty pants so we can brag to our friends?

Thanks for the quote Jill.

And now for a little bragging lol…I just have to show you what he’s been doing and learning.  I’m trying to embrace his ABC obsession and try to keep the learning moving forward at least.  It seems like I would spend a lot of time working on these things with him but I really don’t.  He only needs to be shown something a few times before he’s got it in his head.  He does ALL of this on his own terms and when HE wants to.  Our learning sessions are usually about 30 seconds long.  The hand things…he just did that totally on his own…he can see the letters whenever he wants to.

Let It Snow

The time it took to dress and undress them was much longer than the time it took to play….

Squeaky Wheel, That’s Me!

I’m a bit of a weirdo with phones.  I don’t like them very much.  I don’t like calling strangers.  I don’t really call my friends.  I haven’t even really called family much lately either…I still love you guys.

So, the other day when my mom said I need to start making more phone calls and get things moving for Silas I had a mini panic attack.  PHONE CALLS?  Especially ones where I have to like…annoy people…be the squeaky wheel?  Confrontation perhaps??  YIKES!

Well, I’m feeling more pro active now.  I’m less depressed and I’m ready to conquer this…super mom style.  I’ve subscribed to a bunch of podcasts, I’m looking through all the resources that are out there.  I’m finding things that will help us, AND…I’m making phone calls.

That saying “the squeaky wheel gets the grease” really works!  I called the Public Health Unit to inquire about where on the waiting list we were with Silas’ hearing tests and she had an opening in a few weeks so Dec 31 we’ve got an appointment.  IT WORKS!  WOOOT.  Now to call the health assessment network…they don’t make their phone number easily known.  I’m going to track it down and get that boy his diagnosis PRONTO.  Squeak squeak!

I’m so used to Silas so I think he’s rather typical in most ways.  He’s my first child so he’s all I know of what a 2-3 year old is.  Ikey is teaching me what typical really is.

Anyway the Child Development lady gave me these little tests to do to see where Silas is socially and emotionally.  She gave me one for a 2.5 year old and one for a 3 year old.  It’s an assessment sheet people use to see if the child needs to be referred to mental health or whatever.  You’re supposed to take it and then add up the numbers.  Anyway, I took the 3 year old one thinking Silas should be around there.  If the score was above 59 then they need to be referred to someone.  On the 3 year old Silas got 175..uhhhh.  So I took the 2.5 y/o one…he should score lower on that one right??  So I had to get less than 57…he got 170….

Anyone have a 24 month one?? perhaps a 12 month one??  YIKES.  So, no, Silas is not as typical as I think he is.  Social skills…urgently needed…I thought we could get into this really good preschool for the spring but he needs an aid.  There’s a year long wait list for aids unless I can provide one myself anyone free for a few hours every morning for 5 days a week?? They’ll pay you!!    You have to not mind changing his bum and be good at restraining him so he doesn’t kill the other 3 year olds   Think about it

Anyway…look who’s chatty today.

Because I’ve been so lazy and haven’t posted photos since October…I’ll post some for you now.  A little rundown of the past few months   catch you up in 21 photos.  Here we go!

carving the pumpkin..Silas wouldn't touch it.

It was raining so hard so I let them go experience it

could he be MORE beautiful?? nope!

Snuggles with Dada who looks like his mom here.

Ikey eating polenta at Silas' bday party

Opening presents

Lighting the candles

Happpy birthday to youuuuu

BLOW!

yum yum yum

Watching the tube on our sick day

All snuggled in...so sick

they eventually traded spots

nice smile

Yummy Silas

What smart kids do for fun? That's a completed number puzzle with letters on top...in order. I had nothing to do with this. His idea.

BLUEBERRY APPLE SAUCE!!

Proud of his smarts

Kissing Daddy through the baby gate

Clooose up. He's normally this crusty.

Finger Painting!!

Silas has always had a hard time with drawing.  He doesn’t know how to grasp the writing utensil firmly and it always flops around in his hands.  It also just stresses him out a lot and he’d just rather someone else draw him letters, shapes and numbers.

The other day I noticed that he would trace a circle on his chalk board with his fingers.  Sooo…finger paint?  I had already asked for paints for him for xmas and this weekend at our family get-together Uncle Andy delivered on it.

So last night I sat Silas down to do some finger painting.  I was cautious.  I didn’t draw anything in particular.  We didn’t used brushes, just our fingers.  Silas wouldn’t typically put his fingers in goop…and he wouldn’t usually “draw” on paper.

Once I showed him how it worked that boy dove into it and just went for it.  By the end he even had painted his face, my face and his arm.  SO GOOD for sensory issues…SO GOOD.  He wouldn’t touch the insides of the pumpkin we gutted for Halloween but he sure loved the paints.  I think it was the colors because he wont really touch glue and it feels about the same.

Anyway, there’s nothing like watching your child make such a mess and be beaming about it the whole time because it’s good for him.  I was in shock when he painted on his arm.  Just fabulous.  Finger painting is  our new thing!  I’ll shut up now and give you pictures of it.

Making an H with his fingers.

painting his arms

fun fun fun

moosh moosh moosh

The BEST Snuggle

OOOO I just had the best morning!!!  The planets aligned or something because oh my, the best snuggle ever.

Silas wanted out of his room so I snatched him up and brought him to be bed for a quick snuggle.  Isaac was just starting to whine so I thought it would be quick but he got totally quiet after like a minute.

The wonderous snuggling went on for a good hour.  Every once in a while he’d say “all done snuggling” and he’d roll into a new position and stay there despite me saying “ok” every time.  Eventually he rolled ontop of me to get off the bed but then ended up laying there for another 10 minutes.  Then I hear another “all done cuddle” and he rolls again only to lay and snuggle for another while longer.

It was like he didn’t want to stop snuggling but he was also hungry.  Eventually the hunger won.

I checked on Ikey half way through and he was fast asleep, surrounded by toys, with his bum up in the air and his face smooshed into his sheet.  It was a wonderful sight and it also meant I could snuggle silas for much longer

Now Silas isn’t just your ordinary snuggler.  He’s an expert!  He gets right in there as close as possible and has this extraordinary way of melting right into you.  He doesn’t wiggle much, he’s dedicated in his snuggling.  Sometimes he tried to press further in to you by smooshing his face into yours.  It’s amazing.  There’s nothing like snuggling with Silas, nothing.

Anyway, we got up and woke up Ikey who imediately did that woke up too fast shake thing and was talking jibberish so I asked him if he needed a snuggle and he said OKAY and clung to me while patting my back.

I brought them downstairs knowing that no matter what sort of insanity I’ll be facing on this dreary day, I have a morning full of sunshine.  It’s somthing to cling to.

Just One of Those Days….

Silas is in a phase again…the kicking, screaming, head-butting, hitting kinda phase.  After I got him in his nap finally I just burst into tears.  Almost a good hour of fighting with him, restraining him and yes, losing my patience with him.

How many times can a person calmly tell someone who’s hurting them to “stop” before they snap?  I should have counted.

I’m not feeling like the person for this job.  How often do mothers of kids with special needs feel like they’re in over their heads?  All of them?  Hopefully some of them.  I’m not the only one am I?

So ya…it’s Feeling Inadequate Day at Leah’s house.  Pull yourselves out of bed and come over, we’ll drink  something hard (and cheap) and talk about how much this SUCKS today.  Because really, it sucks.

I’m trying to embrace autism as something beautiful, something unique that will help my son to see life from a different and amazing perspective but today I hate it.  I don’t want it, I want it gone.  I hate how sad it makes it, I hate how explosive it makes him, I hate that he hits Isaac, I hate it all right now.  My heart breaks every time Isaac gets caught in the storm.  It’s not fair!!

Anyway, I’m grouchy, I’m bitter, I’m resentful and I figure I may as well be honest about it.  I’m resenting autism…not Silas.  I’m having a hard time.  I just can’t muster up all the positive Jenny McCarthy bright and shiny feelings and “cure” my son after mourning for a week.  I can’t stop mourning.  I need to get a grip…no more talking…I wanna cry.

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We’re getting some pretty hard evidence that Silas is more greatly effected by the omega supplemtents he is recieving than the GFCF diet.  I’m forgetful and I’ll often forget his supplements for a few days.  Suddenly the kid is cranky, his language is worse, he screams a lot and I think…OOOPS.  Forgot those supplements again.  So I give them to him and the next day he is more calm and articulate.  He’s only getting 100 milligrams of the stuff, it’s so expensive, he should be getting 10x more than that.  I’ll have to do more online searching for the perfect supplement for him.

It’s weird that something so simple can effect him SO greatly.  I think we’ll give the GFCF a few more months then add gluten back…see how it goes and if he’s fine then we’ll try the milk.  A little experimentation.