cough cough cough cough cough

Oh the glorious gloriousness of having a respiratory infection.  I love coughing and hacking and 102.5 fevers.  LOVE LOVE LOVE it.

Actually, really, the best part was this amazing pink stuff the doctor gave me to take to stop the cough.  I think I saw double about 10 minutes after I took it the first time and then I slept the whole day away, 5 whole hours.  Unfortunately I have not been able to take it during the day again.  Too busy.  Oh well.

So I’m at my parent’s house now.  Not as fun as I wanted it to be because my children are both sick, I’m sick, mom is sick…etc.  The kids are super grouchy today, I don’t blame them…but could they throw me a freaking bone??  A little one??

Perhaps the next evolutionary step will be pause buttons on our children so parents don’t die from exhaustion while they’re sick.  They can just hit pause and rest.  I think I’d abuse that button.

Bad idea.

Bleeping Universe is at it Again!!

Okay who made the voodoo doll??  Seriously??  Whatever I did I’m sorry.  I’m sick again!!!  Perhaps it’s the same sickness but it decided to work it’s way down to my lungs and fester there??  I kept the sinus infection at bay by rinsing my sinuses out a lot and I sailed through it just fine.  I felt fine for a few days and then this morning I started to cough.  Now i’m all achy in wimpy and grouchy and GRRRRRR.

Another glitch in the running plan.  There’s no way I can run with this cough, I’m really glad I did yesterday.  Maybe this is just my body cleansing?  Who knows.  Grrrrr.  I recently had a bad cough and my lungs stay pretty weak after a bad one so maybe that’s it.

Silas just went to bed without his smushy.  We accidentally left it at Jennies so I explained to him that it was there and he asked to use his shirt.  I took it off and he was happy.  Odd, no?  Perhaps it’s time to retire smushy.  I’d prefer to retire sucky.

Anyway,  it just feels like there’s a conspiracy or something, I know it’s not true but it seems like there’s a lot of hurdles all of a sudden.  Thankfully Jennie made me a big bowl of egg drop soup for lunch and that made my tummy happy.

Snuggles With Grandpa

The parents have continued on their spring break journey and I am now home alone.  It’s kinda nice to have a quiet house for a bit but I really enjoyed their company.

This Sunday they’re taking me and the boys home with them so we can party like it’s 1999 with Courtenay and just get the boys into a different environment for a while.  I’m kinda weary of our routine and whatnot so a little trip is just what we need.  It’s going to be MAGICAL (*snicker*)

I toootally just realized that, for the first time in my life, I’m elligible to donate blood.  I’ve either been freshly pierced, freshly tattooed, pregnant or nursing and I haven’t been able to.  I’m SO gunna go asap.  I’m such a good candidate for something like that.  I really kinda like having my blood tested, I think it’s fun.  Ya ya ya ya I’m a weirdo.  Oh well.  You like it.

Silas was so cute two nights ago.  My parents sleep on the floor in his room because they really enjoy waking up to him in the mornings.  He’s not a dreadfully early riser so it’s nice.  The other night my mom went to bed and he was still awake, this was like 9:00.  Silas made sure that Grandpa would be coming to bed.  Two hours later Mark goes up to go to bed and he hears Silas say “grandpa” and Silas silently slips out of bed and crawls in with Mark.  He shared his tiny foamy with Silas all night long.  Silas slept through his loud tiger-like snores and just snuggled the night away.  How sweet is that??

Carpet Shampoooooo

Carpets are like really big socks that we always wear but never wash.  We shake em out a little bit and the put them right back on. Don’t wash them until about a year or two…or five…

Year

long

socks.

I got a carpet cleaner today for our carpets.  We don’t have many, just in the boys rooms and on the stairs.  I also have an area rug downstairs.  The water that comes out of the carpet is SICK.  I was shampooing and wondering “how much if this is poo and pee?”  I know there’s a good chance that a lot of it was.  Mainly in Silas’ carpet.  Ikey’s was fairly clean, the stairs were most foul and my area rug was…well…*shudder*.

Why do we even OWN carpets?  UGH.  So gross.  I put them in the kids rooms and on the stairs for the kiddos, because they play in their rooms and they wont as easily cut their foreheads open as they fall down carpeted stairs.  They’re still sick and nasty nasty things though.  BLUAH.

I just used vinegar and borax to wash them with and it worked smashingly.  You don’t need all those yucky chemicals to do your rugs.  I’ve been meaning to do them since we got them to wash away the scotch guard and new chemicals from a carpet.  Did you know that scotch guard can cause all KINDS of issues in kids??  Well now ya know.  It’s handy stuff though.

Anyway, the rooms are smelling fresh as a daisy and my area rug has gone all wavy and bumpy cuz it’s a cheap piece of….

That’s all.  Go get hard floors and stop wearing the same socks around all year.

5 Pounds!

Wooot, my scale had good news for me today.  I’ve lost 5 pounds!  I’m pretty stoked.  woot woot.  5 more pounds and all my Christmas sins will be erased.  Ya that’s right, I gained 10 pounds from xmas…shush…

I’m waiting for my parents to arrive.  I’m very excited about it.  I miss them muchly.  They’ll be taking me and the boys home with them on Sunday to spend the week   Very exciting.  I can’t wait to cook in mom’s kitchen and sit in their hot tub!

I think my kids got together this morning and decided to both be evil to tick me off today.  They were MONSTERS!  Evil evil monster children.  Isaac has been hitting and *gasp* headbanging.  I dunno what changes in the air or the water to make them get like that.   It’s easy to blame myself for it though.  I guess it could be because I’ve been on a cleaning frenzy and haven’t been paying a good amount of attention to them.  Oh well.  The house wont clean itself!  I’m glad they’re both sleeping!!!

Anyway, all is well otherwise.  My parents should b here any minute and ummmmmm, welll…that’s all.

MWAH!

Transformation Update

The transformation plan did not involve getting sick but I’m having to fit that into the plan anyway.  Darn sinus infection.  It’s kinda cut into my running schedule.  I’m hoping to be better enough tomorrow to run again.

I wasn’t impressed with the amount of weight I lost in my first week.  I was hoping for at least 5 pounds but it didn’t happen.  But, 3 pounds a week is a really safe way to go so I guess that’s alright.  It would bring me to 139 by my birthday which is only 9 pounds from my ideal goal so I guess that’s not too shabby.

Happiness and energy wise?  Meh, not too great.  Although I’m being dragged down by this sickness.  I’ve been feeling it wearing me down for a long time now.  I’m dilligently rinsing my nose which keeps most of the sniffles, snot, stuffiness and pain away.  Just the run down feeling that sucks.  I would say the energy is up though.  A tad, but at least it’s up right?

My parents are coming tomorrow so I’ve been working hard at getting things clean.  I dunno if it’s going to be up to the standard I want because I’m mainly loaded down with skads of laundry but oh well.  Mommy still loves me.

Anyway, I’m happy I’m on this little journey.  I have some great people who are encouraging me.  A few friends who make me go run and someone who checks in daily to see how it’s all going for me.  I’m really enjoying eating sushi and beans and fruits and veggies.  My cravings aren’t so bad anymore and I’ve stopped snacking at night.  Tis a good feeling.

You know what else feels good?  Seeing this:

Super Woman

Everywhere I’m turning
Nothing seems complete
I stand up and I’m searching
For the better part of me
I hang my head from sorrow
state of humanity
I wear it on my shoulders
Gotta find the strength in me

Cause I am a Superwoman
Yes I am
Yes she is
Even when I’m a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I’m a Superwoman

For all the mothers fighting
For better days to come
And all my women, all my women sitting here trying
To come home before the sun
And all my sisters
Coming together
Say yes I will
Yes I can

Cause I am a Superwoman
Yes I am
Yes she is
Even when I’m a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I’m a Superwoman

When I’m breaking down
And I can’t be found
And I start to get weak
Cause no one knows
Me underneath these clothes
But I can fly
We can fly, Oh

Cause I am a Superwoman
Yes I am
Yes she is
Even when I’m a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I’m a Superwoman

Transforming…

Well, day two of my crazy, wild, stubborn, perhaps idiotic quest for happy.  But hey, I know myself enough to know I’m an all or nothing kinda gal.  I need to do drastic things to get anywhere.  So I am

Food and exercise make a big difference when it comes to depression.  So I’m eating very healthy and very low fat right now.  Because feeling fabulous is also being at a healthy weight.  But, at 6am when I was jogging all I could think of was beating the s#!t out of this depression, not my waistline.  Studies have shown that exercise is just as beneficial as drugs when it comes to depression.  So I ran.  I think I ran…I was still half asleep.  Remind me to take my puffer tomorrow k?  That was a bit scary.

I’m exhausted though, but it’ll get better.  I’m feeling like fighting.  I have this stubborness that’s coming through.  I just don’t wanna be depressed anymore.

Talking to my dear friend Nancy the other night made me realize that it really is just plain old depression that hinders me.  I’m a VERY energetic person, I’m a fighter, I’m social, I like being busy.  That’s the real me…but depression makes me tired, unmotivated, antisocial, lazy…etc.  Not being vain, but I’ve realized I’m a good person, perhaps from people grinding it into my head, perhaps I actually like who I am.  I have big ideas and big dreams.  I’m tired of the depression stopping me.  So I guess I’mma stop it.

I don’t want to be 40 and just finding myself.  I want to feel like I’ve lead a full life, I don’t wanna spend it sitting on my arse and hating myself.  Ugh…so horrible.

So anyway, I’m enjoying my little diet thingy I’m on.  I like eating this way.  I’ve had lots of beans a rice.  Big bowls of fruit and yogurt and flax for breakfast, hard boiled eggs as snacks.  I just made a BIG pot of vegetarian chili.  I’m not missing sweets or junkfood or alcohol (yet ha ha).  I’m just SO looking forward to feeling better.  I’m REALLY looking forward to feeling fabulous on my birthday.  I need it.  I’m gunna buy a few new outfits and have a wild and crazy weekend in the city with my husband.  It’s going to be great fun.  I’m stoked.

Anyway, there’s some verbal vomit for yas.  Have a nice day!

Breakthroughs!

I could not be more proud of Silas these past few days.  He’s done SO MANY typical things.  I love it.

Before leaving to go to church yesterday Isaac was VERY upset.  Silas walked up to him, looked him in the eye and said “Ikey all done sad”,  to which Ikey replied “ok” and they both giggled.  WHAT!?  My child just recognized an emotion.  That’s crraaazzzzyyyy.  People with autism have a very hard time recognizing emotion and feeling empathy.  I’m stoked.

Yesterday at church he did so well engaging in play with the other kids.  My church is really relaxed and most of the little kids run amok during the worship service.  Silas was playing with the other kids SO nicely.  Crap, I’m scared I’m not going to forget something.

He came out of Sunday School with two drawings he had done and he had drawn a person!!

Don’t those look like fairly typical 3 year old type drawings?  Aside from the fact that everything but the face is a letter   He’s so cute.

For you to feel my excitement I’ll give you a bit of background on the drawing thing.  A few months ago it would stress Silas WAY out.  He couldn’t draw ANYTHING and he wasn’t really gripping a writing utensil.  I got through to him by drawing most of a letter and then having him finish it.  Now he can draw his letters really well and is expanding!

I had so much pride for him yesterday, and it feels good to beam with pride for him.  Because it’s hard to sometimes.

ANYWAY, so today Silas comes downstairs and Isaac is playing with play dough.  Play dough used to really stress Silas out.  He would touch it but he didn’t know what to do with it and would just ask me to do things.  We had a big breakthrough the other day when he told me he was making chocolate pudding and proceeded to mix the brown and orange colors together until there wasn’t any trace left of the orange….anyway…so…today he comes down and says that he’s making some pancakes.  I seize the opportunity and rush to grab our play plates and whatnot.  Oh the fun we had.  Silas did pretend play for FORTY FIVE MINUTES.  *gasp*.  He was in control of it a lot of the time.  He turned the play dough containers into everything from chocolate chips to cheese to salt and pepper to chocolate pudding!!  He decided to pretend to put the food in the microwave  and just used an invisible one he made up in his mind.  He also pretended to put it in the freezer to cool off as well which was also make-believe.

That’s a long paragraph…I’m going to start a new one.

Isaac was in on all the fun too.  He pretends like a champ.  They’re pretty much at the same level when it comes to pretend play, perhaps Isaac is a bit ahead.

Silas also responded to simple things like “can I have a bite please?” and he would feed me imaginary food.  He also would pretend to give me the food that was aparently coming out of the playdough containers.

Anyway, I’m so proud.  Moments like this make me think this is going to be a breeze.  My autistic child, without therapy, has come SO far on his own.  Once upon a time Silas wouldn’t make eye contact, he couldn’t chew food, he couldn’t laugh,  he’d lay on the floor and read books all day or watch things spin.  Now he’s pretending and drawing stick figures and speaking in complete sentences that are meaningful.  Like “I’m going to put in some crackers”.  I’m so so so so so so so lucky.

That's makeup on ikey's head...little stinker got into it this morning.

tasty tasty

deelicious

our "meal"

putting something into the dish. There was a lot of different "ingredients" put in this way.

I thought I’d give potty training a try today with Silas.  After 3 accidents in an hour and after listening to him scream at me every time I suggested the potty I decided we’ll wait until he’s out of this anger phase he’s in…good idea…yahuh.

Busssy

Having people over tonight for a little shindig.  Tooo busy to blog   Love you all and have a good weekend!!